Dating single parent with kid 20
In fact, that is the big takeaway: Stop feeling guilty.
I’m at that point in my life where the dating pool consists of 20-somethings who think a 5 to 10 year difference in age makes me old enough to be their father rather than a potential mate, while the rest have all played the merry-go-round of relationships/marriages which failed for whatever reason, and are now free to date again.
So I’m tasked with caring and draining my financial resources for a family that I have no blood ties with, with a wife who would likely have no time for me because she has her kids to think about.
My whole life would revolve around the fruit of another man’s loins. This is not to say that there aren’t great single moms out there. That’s where the life experience of both are on equal footing.
Because in those families, there is all the more love to go around.
A couple years ago, a guy I went out with read my blog before we went out, and mulled my opinions on putting your kids behind your romantic partner.
If I wanted to get seriously involved with a single mom, I’d have to forgo the dream of having a wife where we spend time together before kids, then slowly grow together as parents from the very beginning.
Instead, I’d have to hit the ground running and learn how to be a fatherly image to kids that are not mine, despite having absolutely no experience whatsoever of being a dad.
Another’s girlfriend eventually broke up with him after several years because he rarely made time to spend alone with her, instead expecting constant family time with his son.
A strong relationship provides security for your children and demonstrates how a loving, respectful partnership should be. After all, they can be so demanding — not to mention fulfilling.
When it comes to relationships, I’m fond of saying, But there are a few couples in my life who I look to as models of the kind of marriage I’d like one day. They are the dynamic centriforce around which the family’s life orbits. There is lots of research to suggest that a happy marriage is the cornerstone of well-adjusted kids. D., writes in her relationship guide, The Book of Love: “No matter how sacrilegious it sounds, you need to put your relationship before your children. If you’re not in a committed relationship, it is very easy to make your kids the prominent one in your life.
They’re basically asking me to give up all those years of being with a girl before kids enter the picture, along with the privilege of learning how to be a father from day one (conception), rather than learning how to be a father when the kid is already 5 years old (and not mine.) Single moms like that aren’t really interested in finding a husband/companion. The only exception I’d make in dating single moms then is when the kids are already grown and out of the house.
Of course that won’t happen till I’m in my fifties, and by then I’ll probably be such an ornery and insufferable jerkball that nobody will want to be with me anyway.