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There are blogs, endless newspaper columns, and television shows devoted to the hapless single lady looking for love.

But the ladies in the top financial tiers have an even bigger problem.

I do a ton of date coaching to play up all strengths: never downplay your smarts or success but dealing those cards in the right fashion, accentuating your femininity.

Not downplaying your achievements, but let the man be the fricking man!

But more often than not, those men, the elusive unicorns of the dating scene, are dating younger, not-so-powerful women. Bar Refaeli recently complained to Conan O’Brien, “Let’s put it out there.

No one hits on me.”So what’s someone like Arianna Huffington, socialites Marjorie Gubelman or Tinsley Mortimer, or even poor Bar to do?

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They shouldn’t hyperexpose themselves and become a depreciating asset, so when they are introduced to the right guy, he hasn’t read about her everywhere.”Some, like Katie Couric, have magical friends who just happen to know nice, wealthy, single financiers, and get set up that way.A young woman happened to walk past him—she was probably 27 and was a friend of his daughters’—when she backed up into a table and knocked over a ,000 vase. They offer a job, an education, looks, but there’s such a hard edge. But it’s hard for women in New York to not be the woman they are at work in their personal life. ” It haunts many women who’ve made it to the top of the ladder.Now anybody else, an older woman would have been so embarrassed, apologized, or been shocked. All guys want is somebody who is soft, feminine, who feels good. Women in New York are survivalists.”Ah, that old nugget again. Perhaps that’s why many powerful women end up in role-reversal situations.Not only can they not pick up guys in bars for fear of appearing on Page Six, they can’t shop online without knowing that somehow their profile will mysteriously appear on sites like Gawker, which will mock them mercilessly.Or even worse—as in the case of Paula Zahn’s millionaire husband, Richard Cohen, who was caught using to date and dump women after telling them they were his “soul mate”—their dating peccadilloes and seemingly bad behavior also might be chronicled by the city’s tabloids.

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