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You were never all that great with data structures and you find the concept puzzling and mildly irritating. You've been meaning to hang another poster there soon. The FAKE ARMS are pushed entirely out of the deck!!! In any case, you now feel like you have gathered enough things to get down to business and do some really important stuff. 04/14/09 "John: Combine the nails and hammer." You MERGE the top two cards. 04/14/09 "John: Examine Deep Impact poster." Morgan Freeman's genteel, homespun mannerisms were perfect qualities for a president residing over a crisis. 04/16/09 "John: Report progress to TG." |PESTERLOG| 04/17/09 "John: Captchalogue Colonel's big book." Now that you've got some space in your SYLLADEX to work with, you figure you might as well start squandering it immediately.

But with any hope, perhaps you will advance new, more practical FETCH MODI for your SYLLADEX with a little more experience. 04/14/09 "John: Read note on drawer." This note is rich with the aromas of FATHERLY AFTERSHAVES AND COLOGNES. 04/14/09 "John: Take poster." Another BIRTHDAY ARTIFACT. The next thing you do will probably be exceptionally meaningful. The HAMMER and NAILS are now captchalogued on the same card and can be used together. 04/14/09 "John: Examine Con Air poster." PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX. Ordinarily this ridiculous book would be way too heavy to carry around in any practical way.

Having it in the middle of the floor sprawled out all akimbo like that struck you as unseemly. 04/19/09 "John: Combine ashes with urn." You merge the SACRED URN with the ASHES.

Most of the ASH is back in the URN, but it's a total mess.

Check mail later." If you go down stairs to get it, he will likely monopolize hours of your time.

04/18/09 "John: Captchalogue magician's hat." You expend your final card on the MAGICIAN'S HAT.

Really it probably would have been tidier if you just used a broom and dustpan.

04/19/09 "John: Put urn back." No one will be the wiser. 04/19/09 "John: Go get fake arms again." You just got another BRILLIANT idea for something to do with those pointless arms.

04/20/09 "John: Check message." |PESTERLOG| 04/20/09 "John: Go back downstairs." You can now execute that brilliant idea you had.

Hey, welcome to the super cool low-tech search page! You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. 04/13/09 "John: Quickly retrieve arms from drawer." Your ARMS are in your MAGIC CHEST, pooplord! Some of this stuff may come in handy at some point. You are so bad at programming sometimes you wonder why you even bother with it. That is to say, HE CAN HARDLY BE CONSIDERED A TERRIBLY PROPER GENTLEMAN AT ALL. 04/15/09 "John: Examine mailbox." The little red arm-swingy-dealy thing or whatever it is called is flipped up! It looks like your DAD has returned from the grocery store. Sometimes you feel like you are trapped in this room. 04/16/09 "John: Examine games on CD rack." You've put countless manhours into this assortment of quality titles. But to really dig into this hefty book, you will have to captchalogue it. Oh, right, you forgot your chum is still pestering you.

To search for something, hit Ctrl F (or Apple F) and type what you're looking for. If your text is in one of the commands or captions, it'll show up here. 04/13/09 "Homestuck" A young man stands in his bedroom. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. 04/13/09 "Remove CAKE from MAGIC CHEST." Out of sympathy for John's perceived lack of arms, you pick up the CAKE for him and put it on his BED. For now, you decide to just take the SMOKE PELLETS. 04/14/09 "John: Examine calendar." You've marked your birthday, the 13th of April. 04/14/09 "John: Eat cake." You are sick to death of cake!!! And you have no intention of clogging your SYLLADEX with it either. Stuck, if you will, in a sense which possibly borders on the titular. The clockwork of friendship turns ceaselessly, operating the swing-lever dealies of harassment in perpetuity! 04/16/09 "John: Read COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT." You decide to consult with the Colonel's bottomless wisdom. You are not sure you are ready to logjam your other ARTIFACTS beneath it just yet. In a momentary lapse of concentration, you accidentally captchalogue the arms again. 04/16/09 "John: Answer chum." |PESTERLOG| 04/16/09 "John: Combine fake arms with cake." You stick the FAKE ARMS in the CAKE on your bed.

On one wall hangs a picture of a fella who sure knows how to have a laugh, a man after your own heart.

You always thought he looked a lot like Michael Cera.

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