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So let’s look at the type of triangle that has one woman and two men in it.The target of desire in the relationship is the woman. Her husband is not leaving and she is not letting him go (otherwise she wouldn’t need a triangle to cope). It doesn’t matter how negative wife and husband feel about each other, they are together.In some instances he ‘knows’ his wife is cheating on him and looks the other way.In other instances his defenses are so thick he doesn’t read the signs at least consciously.In this kind of triangle with two men and a woman, there are instances when the two men fight over the woman.This kind of drama is amusing only because if they know how connected they both are and how much they have in common they might realize that it would be more profitable for both of them to have a conversation together about the whole thing in a coffee shop or something.
The point is, a triangle happens when two married (or simply committed people) don’t fix their marriage.
Triangles exist simply because a problem is not being resolved in a marriage.
Two people get married and have marital problems, instead of resolving those problems either by fixing the relationship or ending it, which by the way can be a valid resolution of a problem, a third party is brought into the relationship, and now you have a triangle.
She can go back to her husband when we’re done making love, right? The problem comes in when over time an attachment forms between the married woman and her ‘other man.’ Now she is growing used to the arrangement and has convinced herself that the triangle makes her disappointing marriage tolerable.
If the ‘other man’ gets attached he will inevitably at some point start needing more from the married woman. My heart goes out to him more than any one else in this arrangement because he is usually the one who gets disturbed first and has more to lose.